Tasting tears
by a song for jeffrey
Summary: Ryou is ignored by the world and now having issues because of it. can anyone save him? probably eventually euroshipping Seto x Ryou,Tendershipping Yami Bakura x Ryou finally updated!
1. Chapter 1

{ ok this was just something random i found in my notebook earlier today.. I dont even remember writing it but anyways, I thought id put it up and see if it was liked by anyone. If its wrong about everything, feel free to tell me lol. one shot.. probably}  
  
My Angel Ryou's POV ( kinda)  
  
I sat at my desk, letting my mind control my hand. Writing down my inner emotions. Half the information on the page was a mystery to me, though i should be able to understand. I was writing a letter, another letter. This writing had been happening at random times throuout the past year, for no apparent reason. The only ones I could come up with was that I had gone mad..or been possessed.. I decided on the first. my eyes followed my hand across the page. The writing was jerky, almost un-readable at some points. Maybe I wasn't meant to read it. I was confused.  
( [letter] )

[Where are you dear sister? Where have you gone? You have left me alone in this world. Alone with no one. I miss you. Maybe if you had not gone, I would not be doing the crazy things that I am about to do. Maybe this pain would have looked past me, unnoticed. If you were still here, would father have given YOU this ring? This curse hanging forever around my neck.No, I shouldn't think that. You deserve much better. You deserve the treatment of an angel..for I think that God made a mistake putting you here on this miserable earth. You deserve none less than the best any king could give. I wonder when I will see you again. Tonight? perhaps? if all goes well. If I can leave this earth behind. Is that the only way? it frightens me.. the thought of my life slowly slipping out of me, spilling down my arms and onto the floor. Staining it with crimson energy. If I have the chance. For if I succeed in what I am about to do, no one will every have to listen to my miserable thoughts or be hurt by this monster living inside my head. ]  
  
{I can hear everything your thinking Ryou}  
  
The voice disturbed my concentration. It was Bakura..but he didn't give a damn about anything I was going to do. Now that he had his own body, I was nothing to him. I thought we had shared something. A special bond from both using my body. Stupid. How could I be so stupid. I went back to the letter. If he wanted to hear this, that was his own damn fault. He liked this stuff anyways..how could I have forgotten. He would rather have me dead.  
  
[I long to hear your voice. It embraces me with a certain warmth I cannot find spewing from any other source. It quiets the demons of my mind. I can still remember when I was little, and no one was allowed to play with me. Their parents were all so afraid, after the incident in the sandbox when I was 5. I didn't mean to separate the kids soul from his body. I didn't even know how it had happened. All I knew is that I could see both. His motionless form lying in a ball near the corner of the box. And his spirit trying to enter back into it...but being pushed away by some invisible force each time. He was crying. He tried to get comfort from his parents, but the were oblivious to his pale spirit. He must have been terrified. You would do anything to cheer me up. Demon child they called me..or Spawn of Satan. You could quiet them with just a look. I recalled your eyes. They sparkled like the most beautiful gems when you were happy, but when you were sad, it was something to compared the vast oceans to. I guess, Amane, what I am trying to say in this letter is that I miss you more dearly than I would miss oxygen, should my lungs be deprived of it. I love you dear sister. This shall be the last time I try to contact you from this place. I will be with you once again..just a short while.  
With love,  
Your dear brother Ryou ]  
  
With that, Ryou's head hit the desk, and all "plans" he might have had were postponed, at least until the morning.

{ ok tell me what you think.. try not to be too harsh if your gunna flame thanks for at least giving this story a chance!}


	2. Chapter 2

(ok... this used to be called "my Angel", but for some reason.. i like this name better lol. i dont know why...but ya. so thanks for reviewing to thanks soo much to **Rachel Jones, Ragdollsally13, Sansty-san, Cold Hearted Icequeen, and Dark Priestess** **Ray** ! you all make me soo happy.. and Rachel Jones, i got the thought of continuing this from YOU so feel special! i dont know if anyone will like this chapter, but it wouldnt even be here! thanks for reading and please tell me what you think of this!)

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**Tasting Tears**

**Chapter 2**

**Ryou's POV**

I awoke with a start from my sleeping position; left arm and shoulder resting on my desk, my head and my right arm drooping off the front of it. I tried to turn my head to the left, but the only response I gained in return was an aching pain from the stiffened vertebra.

"Oof." I grunted as I raised my right hand up to rub my neck. I was afraid that if I moved it, my head might just pop off and go rolling across my floor. That's what this pain made me think of. Maybe there is something wrong with me.

I noticed my pocket knife on the floor. It looked so lonely, I just HAD to pick it up; though it did look awfully beautiful lying there with the yellow shaded light gleaming off of it. Im sure it would look just as well with a red tint, and seeing as how no one seemed to be home, I decided that now was as good a time as ever...

I picked up my knife. It was only a few months old, but yet it felt like a best friend whom I had known all of my life. Like it had always been there for me, which I guess it had. It was the closest thing I ever had to one. At least I knew I could depend on it not to leave me, or spread those nasty rumors behind my back.

My eyes fell on the crumpled up piece of paper on my floor. I reached down and picked it up. Inside was my letter. But I would never have done this to it. It was burned a bit around the edges, with ink smears randomly placed around the page.

A cold tear ran out of the corner of my eye. A single, lonely, pale tear. Full of my hatred and anguish. Many times too salty or sour for its own good. But you wouldn't be able to tell that, except from becoming close enough to it to have some experience.

Tasting tears? What was going through my mind this time? My room was hot from the sun beating down upon it, seemingly aiming to burn this house to the dirt. (with me inside?) That was undoubtedly not an ok for me to go, in my mind at least. Despite what many people at school may think, I hate fire. Sure it's ok if it keeps you warm, but I'm not one who sees a lighter and goes crazy flicking it all day. Nope. That would be Tristan.

I opened my window. Maybe some fresh air would help to clear my mind.

Why did it always seem that whenever I am about to do something drastic to my self (like slitting my wrists) I always fall asleep? It was like some strange chemical reaction in my brain: you're going to kill yourself, so now you must fall asleep. Yep. My mind has a mind of its own (laugh).

**Bakura's POV**

I can't believe he was doing this again. He was depressed again for no reason. It's lucky that I caught him before he actually went through with it. I don't think he knows that I am the reason he hasn't died yet. Not that I take all the credit or anything... but I do make sure that his plans never follow through.

I'm probably the reason he is like this anyways. I wonder how he would have turned out if I had only been kind to him. Instead of pushing him around, and kicking him back down when he tried so courageously to get back up again. But he would never let anyone else know that. He was too kind.

I am sitting on the couch waiting for him to wake up. I know I should have moved him from his sleeping spot on his desk, but I didn't want him to know that I interfeared with his problems. That I knew.

I am waiting for some sort of sign as to what I am supposed to do next. I can't watch him waste his perfect life away.

How weird was that?

I, Bakura, the tomb robber, whom by many was considered a maniac with an unsatisfyable blood thirst, wanted for my useless light to be saved.

I guess they had reason to believe the said opinion. That is the only part of my personality I have ever shown them, though half of it is a lie. I guess it's just because I'm afraid.

There. I said it. I'm afraid of how people will react to me if it wasn't in a fearful way. I've seen how they treat Ryou, and I guess I'm also afraid of the same thing happening to me. This world is full of backstabbing, lying "friends." Poor Ryou. Always left out, trying to be someone else. But his fake smiles don't convince me. They probably just make him, along with his easy-going/shy attitude, seem like more of a pushover. But he doesn't have to be! Maybe I could teach him. Not necessarily to be like my image, but maybe just to help him find something more inside of himself. Maybe there is hope. Hope for the light to emerge from the layer of darkness cutting it off from the rest of life.

**Ryou's Pov**

"Bakura...I...I didn't know you were still here..." I said while quickly shoving my left hand behind my back.

"Yeah. So?" he replied in his usual "don't bother me I'm thinking" attitude.

"I, um, I'm gunna go take a shower..." I said backing away. I doubt Bakura cared. Or even noticed my suspicious movements.

I really didn't want to take a shower, but I decided to just go by what my big mouth said. (I don't want to start trouble with Bakura). Not that I could really talk any less than I did. I am invisible as it is. I don't think people could notice me any less is I had never been here at all.

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place,  
Like some how you just don't belong,  
And no one understands you?  
  
Do you ever want to run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud,  
That no one hears you screaming?  
  
No, you don't know what it's like,  
When nothing feels alright,  
You don't know what it's like,  
To be like me!  
  
To be hurt, to feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark,  
To be kicked, when you're down,  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
When no one's there to save you,  
No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life  
  
Do you want to be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more,  
Before your life is over?  
  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies,  
While deep inside you're bleeding?  
  
No you don't know what it's like,  
When nothing feels alright,  
You don't know what it's like,  
To be like me!  
  
To be hurt, to feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark,  
To be kicked, when you're down,  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
When no one's there to save you,  
No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life  
  
No one ever lies straight to your face!  
No one ever stabs you in the back!  
You might think I'm happy,  
But I'm not gonna be okay!  
  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted!  
You never had to work, it was always there!  
You don't know what it's like (what it's like)...  
  
To be hurt, to feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark,  
To be kicked, when you're down,  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
When no one's there to save you,  
No you don't know what it's like,  
  
To be hurt, to feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark,  
To be kicked, when you're down,  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
When no one's there to save you,  
No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life  
  
_

**  
(a/n: oh ya this song is by simple plan.. its called welcome to my life... the first time i heard it i just thought of Ryou.. so i hope it works in your mind too! thanks! please please review!)  
  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tasting Tears**

**Chapter Three**

Ryou's Pov

The continuous shrieking of my alarm clock finally breached my well protected state of sleep and my eyes squinted open, not quite ready for the day ahead of me. I had a paper due today, which I had not taken time to do, and the anxiety of going to my first class empty handed quickly made the butterflies rise in my stomach; this did nothing for my head.

School again. And that meant interacting with people. Always darting around the hallways to avoid being slammed into lockers and trampled upon by the careless ones. I hadn't been too good with crowds lately. Yugi invited me over to his house to watch the next big "tournament" with him and his group of friends, but i had declined. Though this rare opportunity was all i had hoped for only a week earlier, i could not accept. The thought of being surrounded by a dozen smiling faces was more than i could bear to think about. And when I did not smile back at them, the questions would start. The thought stressed me out.

"What's wrong Ryou, aren't you enjoying the show?"

"You know you can talk to us if something is bothering you right?"

"You've been acting odd lately, are you feeling well?"

No. the answer to all of that is no. No I am not enjoying sitting about watching television with all of you smiling around me, clinging and making me feel claustrophobic. No I am not feeling well, because the thought of all of you makes me sick. And no, I most definatly cannot talk to any of you about my problems, because not only would you never have a chance in hell to understand what is going on, but I would rather go on sitting alone in the corner of my room submitting to the voices in my head telling me to go kill a goat than to confide in you some of my deepest most desperate secrets. Which in turn you would go running to a counselor, convinced that I was going to shoot up the city. Wrong. You are all so very wrong; dead wrong.

Even my dark half has been acting odd lately. He seems more...dare i say it... approachable. He even attempted to make fried eggs for my breakfast this morning. Of coarse I didn't eat them. They probably had arsenic filled centers.

When I declined going over to his house this afternoon, Yugi looked sad. For the first time in months he looked like what I said was killing him. It should have filled my stomach with an aching sorrow, but it didn't. Instead, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief; I had made someone feel bad. I hadn't even said anything hurtful; I had been my usual polite self, just with a bit more force.

"No thank you, I've got other things to do," I had said.

Yugi should have taken it better. Perhaps I did feel a bit sad for disappointing him; after all, I was worrying about him.

But Yugi didn't need me. Yugi didn't need anyone. He decided that he only needed the Pharaoh. He had abandoned Jou; threw him to the wolves. Kind little Yugi had given up on his "best friend". Who would have ever guessed? Strange how he had chosen me over his first real friend when I was more of an acquaintance. But I didn't want to be his friend any more. Maybe two weeks earlier, but not now. Who needed the little runt anyways?

When he abandoned Jou, it wasn't for any good reason. Just the fact that Jou confessed to having a bit of a crush on Kaiba. I admit he is handsome from some perspective, but nothing too extravagant. I remember my other half used to force me upon the CEO in class; he wanted me to start a "relationship" with him so that we could get his money. I'm not gay, but my other half's reasoning was that I could just act it to get to the prize. Jou is probably better off with the CEO anyways. They have started talking in a friendly manner now. At least Jou has someone to run to when he is alone. I hope they can be happy together, as friends if that's as far as they ever get.

It hurts me to see how much everyone is changing. Not only Yugi, but me as well. I was becoming more and more like my darker half everyday. It was unnerving, and there was seemingly nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I wanted to do. I'm sick of being pushed around. I'm sick of being alone. All I ever wanted was companionship; its too late now.


End file.
